Out with the old, in with the new.

Where to begin! It's been three weeks since I made an entry and so much has happened during that time. Not all of it is worth mentioning, but I will talk about one of the more major occurrences that made these days blend together in one hazy blur.

I know that first and foremost balance has to come from within. We all strive to keep a certain internal balance through work, play, rest, and exercise. But there definitely is an external balance that needs to be maintained in life in order for there to be harmony. Keith is in intricate part of my external balance. With him, life runs much more smoothly. Together we tackle the challenges and the surprises in life, and everything seems easier when he's by my side. Unfortunately, this balance was thrown off on the day after Christmas. I had to call an ambulance for Keith that morning because of a slipped disc in his back. His back issues have been a problem for quite awhile -- he had surgery on a different disc five years ago -- but his pain reached a pivotal point that day, causing him to pass out and leaving him with little sensation in his right leg. As resistant as he was, he knew he had no other choice but to go to the hospital. We learned that the disc was impinging on nerves in his spine which was agonizing and also resulted in the numbness. The ER doc gave him prescriptions for steroids and vicodin, and sent us off with referrals to a neurosurgeon and physical therapist. We found out the hard way that most doctors in L.A. (at least, most neurosurgeons) don't work during the week between Christmas and New Years, so he still hasn't been seen by a specialist. The days that followed Keith's ER visit were difficult for him, to say the least, and challenging for me.

It's been almost ten days since that incident and, I'm relieved to say, he's able to walk again without pain. Having a husband that's home but miserable, and completely incapable of doing most things is distressing. I felt helpless in that I couldn't do anything to alleviate his discomfort, and I also felt overwhelmed dealing with the never-ending demands of my children day and night. I was disappointed that the week of vacation Keith had taken was going to be completely lost on his slow recovery. All of these different emotions put a dark cloud on my outlook. But I managed to find time during the kids naps to run, and I think those little escapes helped me keep my perspective. His disability reminded me of how essential his role is in our family. I've never discounted how important Keith is to all of us, but as a part-time working/full-time mother, I definitely feel at times that I take the brunt of all the child-related and household-related duties. All of these seemed minuscule when he was erased from the equation for a week.

We spent New Years at my brother and sister-in-law's house. They hosted a "Mad Men" themed party that served as a wonderful break from reality. Everyone dressed up in 1960's attire and Keith managed to forget his back pain for a few hours (martinis helped, too!). It was a great way to close out a long week and begin a new year. Although we've been faced with a few hurdles over the last couple of months, I know that we're stronger because of it and compared to some, we're still living the easy life. I'm interested to see what 2010 holds. This past year has delivered some surprises but overall I feel I've gained a lot more than I've lost, and I'm sure I'll say that again next year as long as I remember to look at the big picture.